Author Archives: publiusmaxiumus

The Nature of Black People

Hi, I’m David Brooks. Again. Like the rest of you, I too am deeply disturbed by the fact that black people keep rioting. I sometimes find myself almost wanting to weep with admiration when they protest peacefully, but now it … Continue reading

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We Are All Jews Now

Hi, I’m David Brooks, and things are serious. Not serious in a somber way, how music can sometimes make us feel, but serious in an existential way, as when we see images that disturb us to our very core. Lately, … Continue reading

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The Xanax Recession

Hi, I’m David Brooks. I know I’ve been away for a bit, but fortunately there’s Xanax for the difficult times in-between. Today, I read another article, finally, and I am feeling especially worried about our collective future, and it’s not … Continue reading

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The Big Brother

Hi, I’m David Brooks, and fortunately for you I got rip-roaringly stoned last week. Being so high, I was able to make some fairly clear judgments about what you people down below need. First, it’s clear that democracy is in … Continue reading

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Stairway to Kevin

Hi, I’m David Brooks, but you obviously knew that. What you didn’t know is me, for you’ve never really smelled me. I mean stood right next to me and took a deep, explorative inhale of all my bodily, emotional, and … Continue reading

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I, Like Piketty, Am Queasy-Marxist

Hi, I’m David Brooks, and like a fine wine, that fact only improves with age. As I noted, again, in one of my past editorials, I teach a course at Yale, and I only pointed it out to establish, again, … Continue reading

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Stop Pikettying on Me

Hi, I’m David Brooks, and thank God, because there’s a specter haunting the beloved capitalism that brought me, through sheer force of my unbelievable work ethic, into the four-million-dollar mansion in which I now write this. As I compose, I’m … Continue reading

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